Here I am again, I'm about to express my disillusionment. First, I sent a friend request to ate zshai but unfortunately she rejected my request. I just want her to add in my list. Anyways I won't do it again besides it's not right to add somebody whom you are not familiar with. Hmm, I had a Topsy Turvy feeling. I'm very lethargic in my whole class. I really want not to attend my class earlier. I'm not in the good mood for anything. I shifted my thinking in EATING. I ate a lot and I was hoping if I can resist any pain that flows into my veins. I'm a bit confused.

Why this things happening to me? I'm not like this before. I thought I started the YEAR right? If God can give me the answer to my questions now, but I know he knows what is really the best for me.

Last night, I talked to the most important girl in my life. I'm still waiting and hoping that she will going to choose me among her suitors. I'm still praying that she will going to open her heart again. I want her very much. Even people might say that I am crazy, Yes I must admit. I am crazy about her.

Because of this kind of attitude towards LOVE, sometimes my fragile heart gets easily broken. When will be the day that I will be completely happy with someone I love. Someone that will going to love me unconditionally,someone who will accept me as who I am, everything. God knows that I am not asking for a perfect girl but his choice is absolutely enough for me. I hope he will going to give me that LOVE now. I need that LOVE AND ATTENTION BADLY :(

If you can hear me, hope you respond. For my girl, hope you can read this post. If you can open my heart now, you will going to see your name on it beside GOD. I love you very much. Hope you feel the same too.

I'm tired of being miserable. Lord, obliterate me from this mess please. I don't know what to do right now. I feel so alone. LORD I NEED YOUR HELP!

No matter how I try to be STURDY in all my heartaches and adversities in life, still every night before I go to sleep, I don't know if I'm already fixed or not. LIFE is so UNFAIR, LIFE is very CRUEL. Now, while doing this post. I really want to CRY. I want to release the PAIN in my wounded HEART. Whenever I am with my FRIENDS I always make there day happy but when I assessed myself and asked if AM I REALLY HAPPY? This feeling was started way back a long year ago. I gave my entire life to somebody as in EVERYTHING. That person owned my world. Now I'm still carrying this damn life. I am messed up, I feel that I am empty, I feel that I am all ALONE. I'm in a struggle in searching for the one who will love me completely. That will help me to restore this fragile heart of mine. I thought I am very much happy but a NEWS came this afternoon. It made my happiness turned into NIGHTMARE. I am totally blackout. No feelings. I thought I am NUMB, I wish I am NUMB. I am very much tired of having this EXCRUCIATING PAIN in every part of ME.

People really want me to be MISERABLE. They want me to experience devastating and catastrophic life.

I think I am CRAZY. I'm insane. I am desperate for LOVE. I'm not ugly, I'm not pathetic. They said I have what it takes to be a PERFECT PARTNER.

You know what I feel now. I want to sleep for a long time and to recuperate for every wounds I have in every part of my body most especially my fragile heart.

Now, I am currently waiting for a GIRL to be my PARTNER in LIFE. If this thing can be a failure again, I don't know what's gonna happen to me.

I feel like I'm dying. I hate to say this but I am almost DYING. If it is not a SIN to end your life in this point in time. I choose to do it right after I made this post.

Everyone knows that I am a happy person but deep inside I CHARACTERIZED MY LIFE as DEPRESSING, GLOOMY, CHEERLESS, HEARTBREAKING, DISTRESSING, HEARTRENDING and POIGNANT. Sounds Exaggerated but that's what I really feel right now.

Please fix me I'm BROKEN. I'm PLEADING YOU PLEASE!

Good day Everyone.

I'm about to update my page regarding my experiences in various hospitals as part of my RELATED LEARNING EXPERIENCE. Good to know that my Clinical Rotation for this semester was finally over as of today. Last duty was in Malolos Bulacan, Sacred Heart Hospital of Malolos. For all the duty I had, I put this hospital in my top list. I've learned many things most especially in regards to NURSING PROCEDURES. I conquered my fear in administering medicines PARENTERALLY. Preparing drugs, charting, TPR plotting and of course VITAL SIGNS. Aside from that, I'm also inspired of going there because I can't help myself but to admire this wonderful girl. She's one of the staff nurses there. I'm not enamored to her but I have a crush on her. Whenever I noticed her in the NURSE'S STATION, someone reminds me of her. My EX-GIRLFRIEND was a Chinese like her. Same height, complexion was also remarkable. I told my group mates that I have a strong admiration to her. She's none other than. GRAYZIEL ANN S. CAMAYA, R.N. I mentioned the name here =) It's my page so?

I just felt bad this afternoon because she's not on duty today. For the last time, I haven't seen her. But anyways, it was just a crush no more no less.

We also have our QUIZ earlier. We gave a CAKE to our CI as a token of gratitude for teaching us very well.

The other rotation in MATEO DIAGNOSTIC AND GENERAL HOSPITAL was not that special to me. It was a boring and not brain stimulating duty. I hate the fact of going there. CALOOCAN HEALTH DEPARTMENT for our COMMUNITY EXPOSURE. In fairness, I've learned so much with our CI, MS. NORMA A. MANERE.

I'm also happy with the fact of giving my new group mates to me. There all fun to be with. I have no problems with them. CAMARADERIE was always in our hearts.

I am looking forward working with them for the following semester up to NCM 105.

May God bless us always. Guys, MIDTERMS is coming. God bless to everyone.

Keep safe and God speed readers.

This morning, I woke up very early. I think it was 3 in the morning. First, I talked to my God to ask for his traveling mercy among us. I prepared my stuff and paraphernalia's for my duty. I ate my breakfast in a fast food chain because I wasn't able to check the kitchen if there's any food left for me. I want to be early, so I left the house around 4:30am. I arrived in the meeting place and I saw Shiela waiting for us. Passed 6am when we left the area. We assumed that our other group mates was in the other bus because they were not answering our text messages. We were hoping that we could arrived in Malolos on time with no hassle. Unfortunately, The bus was atrocious. Instead of loading ourselves in the proper place. They unload us in the Capitol of Malolos. Not so far in the hospital but because we need to hurry up, it made us feel that it was very far. They uttered some words which was not appropriate for the day. Urgh. I walked as fast as I could. I think I have lost a plenty of fluids in my body that's why after entering the hospital premise I sat down and ask for WATER to Mommy Vicky. Thank God, we were able to signed the log book for our attendance. Same routine, Taking Vital Signs, Giving Medications that's it. After that, Our Clinical Instructor. Ms. Chona Espero told us to make a Nurse's Chart following the SOAPIE Format. We made our individual tasks then we proceed to Greenwich to have our heavy BRUNCH (Breakfast-Lunch). Again, another terrible encounter to the crew. It was a century after when they served our food, our pineapple juice was not cold even there's an ICE inside. Very sluggish in meeting their customer's needs. But that encounter does not made our day ruined. As a part of routine. We laughed and laughed because we were talking to such topic in which all of us can't get over. THE GER-GER, JERPETS related topic. Very ridiculous. After complying all the activities in the hospital. We sat down in our counters while waiting for our dismissal time. Some of us were LETHARGIC because they woke up very early too. They don't want to be LATE again. The institution was very STRICT in regards to the attendance. Imagine, their time was 25 minutes advance to the exact time of the whole country. I was a VICTIM last Tuesday. I came in the exact time if we will base the time in my CLOCK. It was a 15 minutes advance to the SCHOOL CLOCK and TV CLOCK. But unfortunately, as expected I was late for about 14 minutes. Our CI came and she discussed about the sanction regarding TARDINESS. I thought I will be given a MAKE-UP Duty but she told me that she lessen it. Only an EXTENSION OF TIME on the total hours of my duty. I entitled this POST as HORRIBLE DAY because someone tested my temper as always. Way back to our MATEO DAYS, she's been a lazy girl. I really hate PATHETIC PERSON. DYSFUNCTION, NO PURPOSE AT ALL. That's what I characterized her. Upon hearing the bad news regarding the extension of time. She was terribly laughing because of the incident. See how PATHETIC she was. She was expected to be a concern group mate but unfortunately and as expected she wasn't. I made to say this thing. I'm not saying that I am excellent in all areas. I'm also experiencing CARELESSNESS especially in my clinicals but at this point in time, she was expected to know already or as much as possible to MASTER the VITAL SIGNS PROCEDURE. I was laughing because she didn't know where to get the pulse in the radial area. Oh wow! I can't help myself but to laugh. The entire group doesn't like her attitude. Me, personally I am honest that I don't like her. She's LAZY and I hate it.

She was laughing because she will have a companion tomorrow for the extension. She was also late for about less than an hour. Could you imagine how dishonest she was? She tampered the logbook. She changed the time from 7:30 to 7:00. I am very thankful our CI noticed it.

It was really bad to say these things but I want to be HONEST and I want to release this NEGATIVE and flushed this out after. I don't want any negative vibes to surrounds my midst.

I will reverse the feeling from NEGATIVE to POSITIVE. God forgive me for this.

I am hoping that my DAY for tomorrow will be much better than today. I don't want to meet the next day with BITTERNESS.

So this was the end of my DAY. All in all, I can still afford to SMILE for the goodness of God to me.

I will meet the next day with a positive perspective in life.

Midterm examination is fast approaching. I will do my best to perform much better than PRELIMS.

God bless you all.